If Grumpy Cat had a Tinder and other Tinder Tips

Have you ever created a Tinder account "just for fun"? Or "for a joke"? Oh, this is a good one--"[your] friend made it for [you]?" 

You get a Tinder because you're experiencing a "man drought" or a "chick famine". You start talking to the people you match with. It's quite convenient because you know whoever you're talking to thinks you're hot, right? So all you have to do is show off your winning personality and see how shallow the other person is.
Many people who don't have Tinder seem (validly) concerned about friends and loved ones who do--what if that straight up 10 you've been self disclosing to is really a nasty middle aged man? What if that physically flawless babe that asked to meet up at the gas station is actually a sketchy person planning on mugging you? 

Here are some ways you can definitely tell if this person you've matched with is bad news:

1. The Heartless Thug with Violent Tendencies. 

We know the guy was expecting an edgy answer--but he wasn't expecting someone who would prevent charity donations from happening. I'm going to take a wild guess and say this girl gives Monopoly money for tips and hides walkers and wheelchairs at geriatric care centers.
Watch out for these raging heathens. They're tricky to catch.

2. The One with Evil Life Goals and Aspirations.

Business? So vague. So general. When I read that, I think "okay, this person obviously isn't sure what they want as a career yet; or, they think I'm too stupid for specifics." This Business Major has matched with someone who knows exactly what they want. They know where to go and how to get there. Sometimes that is too much pressure. You stress enough about your own education--why add the worry of if your significant other's major is ethical or not?

Maybe they could watch "Fern Gully" on their meet up date (and if he really wants her, he shouldn't recycle that soda can).

3. Girls who Love the Bad Boys. 

Woah. Better make sure they don't have any power hungry assassination plans in place.
You'd better stick with the girls that say "Prince Eric" or something.

4. Make sure you find out their hobbies.

When they say "opposites attract," they're referring to the football player and the choir star. The funny girl and the shy guy. The organized one and the one who's a mess.
If you run across an answer like this--ask yourself, "what are my hobbies? Would I be comfortable embracing this new love interest's hobbies along with my own? Are those hobbies wholesome, recreational activities?"
Particularly if you're an animal lover--I'd recommend un-matching this one.

5. When, At Last, Your Love Has Come Along.

Now, Tinder may not be for everybody, but there are so many cases where it works! You probably know someone who is in a serious relationship with or even married to their soul mate they met on Tinder. Did you ever ask your parents how they knew they were in love? In the movies, they always answer, "you... you just know." There could be tingling spines, racing hearts, sudden urges to dance or make strange noises.
There is a point in your Tinder conversation that will make it or break it--the one where a phone number will come right after or you'll never hear back from them again.
Well, here was my moment. When I read this Tinder message, my soul kind of sighed and said, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you."

Good luck in Tindering, mate.

I hope you find that Tinderella in the Tindergarten.

Always a Pleasure,

Gilly